The new year always brings along a lot of reflection. In this quieter time of the year, I get a few extra moments to reflect on and appreciate all sorts of things! Lately, I’ve been thinking about the relationships in my life. I can't stress enough how important it is to surround yourself with the right people! Your friends, family, co-workers, and acquaintances all serve a purpose in your life. They either contribute to it in a positive light, or (unfortunately) add a flare of negativity that often feels like a grey cloud is hovering over you. Sometimes people enter our lives at a specific time for a particular reason, and are either meant to stick around, or just be simply passing by. One of my dearest friends told me something that really stuck with me- people are in your life for a reason or a season or a lifetime. Boy- don't I know that to be true!
We've all had that special someone in our life (insert sarcasm here) that can't help but only talk about everything wrong in his or her life and it often feels like you are in a highly-rated drama television series except it's real life, and we aren't getting paid for acting. For some of us, we may commit to having that person around because we secretly enjoy the drama. For others, it's probably more of a feeling of obligation. I've had experiences with both of those feelings and ultimately, I was not served well by any of it!
In the past few years I've found a close group of friends that I have been through the ebbs and flows of life with. Through the birth of babies, loss of family members, new jobs, old jobs, marriages, and divorces, I've found my tribe that makes the walk through life so enjoyable, no matter the circumstances. When it comes to finding your tribe, it truly is all about quality over quantity. Here are a few tips to finding your tribe:
1. Try new things
If you find yourself being surrounded by the same Negative Nancy's, then it's possible you could use a change of scenery. Try going to new places, like a dog park, where maybe you'll meet other fur-baby parents who you could totally vibe with, try a workout class, or hey- let's get crazy and take some salsa lessons! Regardless of the new things you decide to do, just think about the people you would like to attract. When you try these new things that interest you, you are also surrounding yourself with people who share the same interests. Seems so simple, right? ;-)
2. Do some self-reflection
If we reap what we sow, then positive actions bring positive responses, and vice versa. If you find yourself being surrounded by negativity then there is a possibility that it could be starting with you- yikes! Do a little self-reflection and determine if there are any changes you can make within yourself. Make sure that you’re as much of a Positive Polly as you can be, and see what happens next!
3. Reach out to people
Don't wait around for people to give you a call or ask to hang out. Chances are, they’re probably waiting for you to call them. Be the one to reach out and make plans. I know it's easier said than done for the introverts reading this, but trust me when I say you will surprise yourself with the positive interactions you'll get. Sure, it may take a few weeks for the planned get together because of life, but once it happens you'll wonder what tok you so long to reach out in the first place!
4. Join or start online communities
We are in an age of technology that caters to our every beck and call. Practically anything we want can be delivered in no time! With such convenience at our fingertips, we should be able to find like-minded people at the click of a button. My sister in law was telling me about the different apps she used when she moved to a new city to meet new people! The introvert in me crawled into a hole when she told me this… but hey, it worked out well for her!
There isn't much of a science to finding your tribe, but finding the right tribe makes all the difference in leading a beautiful life!